Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
