Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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