if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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