Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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