then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yo dont text me then not text me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
