No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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