Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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