She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
