i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
