My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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