barbara walters just said penis...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
