Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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