Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
