hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize