Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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