Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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