last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
