we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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