Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
