I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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