And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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