Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize