Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
