i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
