I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
