awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
