No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize