Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
