Where are you?
In a non slutty way
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize