see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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