My underwear smells like fireworks.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
