Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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