You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
