Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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