My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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