When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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