WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize