Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
