Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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