It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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