discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
