I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did I show you my penis last night?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
