If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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