We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
