all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
