She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
