He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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