Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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