dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
