We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
