Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
