I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
