I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
