you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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