The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
