she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
