Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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