she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm at about main and main street
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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