I wannas sexs uuuuu
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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