She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
